Picky eating can be a frustrating problem. At first, babies eat a separate diet, but that changes when you start adding normal food. Some children refuse to eat things based on appearance or texture. You may find it easier to give in to refusals to avoid a tantrum, but that creates a larger problem. In this article, I will explain picky eating, discuss the negative effects, and share tips on how I address it not only as a psychologist but also as a trained chef. I was trained at the Culinary Institute of America in New York. I have worked in multiple restaurants and had a small catering business while I was training to become a psychologist.

What is Picky Eating?

Picky eating exists on a continuum from mildly to severely disruptive. A clinical diagnosis that relates to picky eating is Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. This disorder is a lack of interest in eating or food, avoidance based on sensory issues, or worry about a negative consequence from eating. People with this condition experience weight loss or are underweight, faltering growth (in children), significant nutritional deficiency, dependence on supplements, and marked interference with psychosocial functioning. You need one or more of these symptoms to meet the criteria for the disorder. People with this disorder could appear skinny or obese due to not eating or only eating unhealthy options like processed foods or fast food. I have had a few patients who had to take supplements to stave off malnutrition.

Picky eating is a common childhood issue, especially for those with a developmental disorder. I also have some adults with picky eating. Many adults with picky eating have a developmental disorder or grew up in a restricted environment, such as a “meat and potatoes” household.

Negative Effects of Picky Eating

Picky eating can negatively impact health and adult life if not addressed. It may surprise you that picky eating can negatively impact social life. Once people get to a certain age, get-togethers center around food. People have fun and connect by going out to eat. Many social functions serve food. I became a chef because one of my life’s missions is to help people be happy. Some of my best memories of time together with people have been through food.

Picky eating in late adolescence or young adulthood can affect relationships. I have had patients tell me that they don’t get invited to social activities as much because of their picky eating. It is uncomfortable for everyone when someone does not participate in eating.

Events or trips present different food options than normal, so picky eaters may refuse to eat if they don’t like the available options. In extreme cases I have recommended parents not to allow a child to go on a trip if their picky eating would make them avoid eating or not eat enough. I had one patient who tended not to eat for long periods due to picky eating. When a five-day school trip came up, I recommended that the parent allow the patient to go on condition that he had to eat. Because the patient was excited for the trip, he agreed to eat. During the trip, a chaperone gave updates to the parent confirming that the patient was eating.

Tips to Address Picky Eating

I approach treating picky eating both from my knowledge as a psychologist and my creativity as a chef. Here are some of my recommendations for this issue.

Try a New Food Every Week

I assign all my patients with picky eating the homework of trying a new food each week. It can take many trials to truly determine whether someone dislikes a food. What counts as trying a new food? I want you to fully experience the food. This means taking a good size bite, chewing, and swallowing. I think of it like “jumping into the deep end” rather than gradual “get your feet wet” experiences like licking or tiny bites. In some cases, it is okay to spit out a food, like if it is too spicy or will cause you to be sick.

Generally, I prefer that the person with picky eating chooses the foods they try. Other times, the parent picks the food. One way to find new foods to try is watching videos of people trying food. This especially pertains to those who have a character or influencer they already enjoy watching. One of my patient’s favorite YouTubers posted a video on trying soft shell crab, which piqued his interest. His parents drove two hours to find a restaurant that served soft shell crab in a simple way so he could try it. I got my daughter to try gyoza and perogies because the Ninja Turtles ate them in a few episodes. Alternatively, go to the grocery store and browse a section for an interesting food to try.

Understand the Importance of Flavor

As a chef, I understand how the flavor of an ingredient can change drastically just by cooking it differently. For example, think about pizza. There are many different styles and flavors of pizza. Each brand can taste different depending on the spices used in the sauce. Frozen pizza tastes completely different than restaurant pizza.

Understanding this concept about flavor can mean a few things for picky eaters. Different recipes or presentations of food count as different foods to try. Trying French fries and mashed potatoes count as two different things for homework. This helps with trying a wide range of foods and keeping the homework reasonable.

Changing the flavor can make all the difference in liking a certain ingredient. Approaching flavor with curiosity and creativity can help with exploring new foods and flavors. Picky eaters can start by modifying things they already eat. For example, they could add cheese or dipping sauce to their chicken nuggets. One of my patients was curious about hot sauce. For one session, I brought in my collection of hot sauces, and we sampled them on some of his favorite foods.

Recipe Changes

Changes to the cooking process can also help those with picky eating. Try making a recipe, such as sloppy joes, multiple ways. This relates to the strategy of layering. Start by tasting a base food, such as cooked meat. Continue adding ingredients, tasting again each time an ingredient is added. One of my patients tried layering with the base of chicken breast and pasta noodles.

Another strategy is getting creative by disguising or enhancing the ingredients. I got my daughter to eat cauliflower by turning it into a rice dish and another time presenting it as mashed potatoes. If you hide certain ingredients and it is reasonably hard to discern them in the dish, you can use deception, like calling it “rice” or “mashed potatoes” instead of “cauliflower.” If the ingredient is obviously present in the dish, however, just be upfront about it.  

Get Involved in the Cooking Process

For people of any age, I encourage getting involved in the cooking process. Learning to cook not only helps with picky eating but also develops many life skills. Success in the kitchen requires organization and multitasking. A well-developed multitasking skill involves splitting attention effectively to track progress on multiple items. For this reason, I assign people with ADHD to cook a full meal as a behavioral intervention to strengthen their attention.

Beyond life skills, cooking also develops creativity and experimentation. I enjoy experimenting with ingredients and adjusting recipes to see what happens. I mix different cuisines with pasta and tacos. A popular pasta I make combines Italian, Cajun, Mexican, and BBQ flavors.

Once a child has gained cooking skills and has reached an appropriate age, parents can put their foot down on not cooking a different meal for the child than the rest of the family. The picky eater can take care of themselves or try what is prepared for the family. This tactic may work if the person is too lazy to cook for themselves, hence encouraging them to try new things. With this method you do run the risk that the picky eater will only cook the few things they enjoy. If this occurs, you may need to use rewards for trying new things and consequences for unwillingness to try. Current privileges serve as simple and inexpensive rewards and consequences. Use this method as a last resort in cases where health must be prioritized above happiness.

Behavior Interventions

Several psychological interventions can help with trying new foods. First, I suggest using the Premack Principle, meaning pairing an unfavorable activity with a favorable one. For example, eat or try your vegetables and then go play video games. Another intervention is response cost, meaning the person must do the behavior to have a privilege. For example, you can’t leave the table until you try the food or eat a certain amount of food. For my child, I use privileges like dessert and electronics to motivate eating or trying foods. Sometimes I require her to try a food. Other times I require her to eat a certain amount of food.

Repeated trials provide one of the simplest yet most effective behavioral interventions. Since most tastes are acquired, learning to like a new food can take up to 10 exposures. Based on this, try the same food 10 days in a row. You could do this as part of trying a new food every week.

Cognitive Interventions

Cognitive interventions helps individuals who have unhelpful thoughts such as expecting to get sick when eating a food. We need to address their expectations to help them recognize the unrealistic nature of these thoughts. For example, these individuals can replace the unrealistic thoughts with more helpful thoughts.  

Other individuals, such as those with autism, have the expectation that a food must be their preferred food to eat it. For example, I have had several patients who only wanted one brand of a food item (e.g., chicken nuggets). Cognitive interventions help talk our way through accepting that while brand “X” may be the “best,” I can settle for “okay” when needed.

Texture

Texture issues are a particularly tricky area of picky eating because it typically comes with a gag or visceral response, making you feel sick. For example, my wife feels nauseous when eating cooked apples. Trying to overcome this response is very tricky, which means Dr. Gotowka is deprived of the joy of apple pie at home.

I try not to push texture too much and just test it every so often. I still encourage trying foods and presenting the disliked ingredient in a more appealing texture. If someone has texture avoidance for only a few items, I typically just work around it. For those with widespread texture issues, I recommend working with a therapist who uses exposure therapy.

Preventing Picky Eating

My biggest recommendation to prevent picky eating is to encourage trying new foods at an early age. Reward and praise when they do. It is easy to give in and not fight a child with picky eating. Giving up brings a short-term reward with long-term consequences.

Picky Eaters with Autism

People with autism commonly experience picky eating. Many of these people face rigid thinking, struggle with new experiences, and fear the unknown. I have heard many say they expect not to like new things or worry about what would happen when trying something new.

Trying a new food every week helps counter this mindset and gives frequent exposure to change and new experiences. It encourages curiosity, which strengthens the importance of allowing the picky eater to choose what to try. One of my patients took this homework to the next level and began improv theater, an experience very few people with autism do.

Conclusion

Hopefully this post helps you better understand picky eating and how it can negatively impact people’s lives. I hope these tips help you approach picky eating more successfully. These interventions can be challenging to implement when faced with a picky eater’s resistance or negative reactions. If you need assistance, seek help from a therapist who understands the use of behaviorism, exposure therapy, and operant conditioning skills. Contact our office to get started!

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Post written by Dr. Michael Gotowka, Licensed Psychologist

Please note posts are educational in nature and are not intended to replace psychological services when needed.