In a previous post, I discussed my early experiences advocating for students in 504 or IEP/ARD meetings. Parents often feel overwhelmed with the number of school officials who attend these meetings. The number of acronyms also is overwhelming to parents. Many parents feel the school doesn’t seek their feedback. Others know so little about the process they don’t feel comfortable asking questions. Based on these observations, I offer these tips for parents to help themselves be successful in these meetings.

Tips for Parents 1: Stick to the talking points

If your child already has an IEP or 504 plan, review it beforehand. Sometimes there are adequate supports on paper, but the school is not following them. Similarly, sometimes the school and parents have a different opinion on what a certain support means. This can be particularly true when transferring from one school to another. In this case, the primary talking point is clarifying the support and ensuring adequate implementation. This may include adding detail to a behavior intervention plan, naming specific people to train staff, or identifying who to contact for updates.

At other times the IEP or 504 plan is not addressing the child’s needs. This can happen simply as the child gets older or due to new challenges arising. For example, a child with a learning disability may later need counseling as a related service due to depression affecting school performance.

My most useful tip before the meeting is making a list of needs with the parent and child. Sometimes parents share this list with the school before the meeting. In most cases, letting the school know of these requests in advance is helpful. The school can invite the correct individuals to the meeting. School officials also can arrive to the meeting knowing how they plan to address the need or suggest an alternative.

Tips for Parents 2: Ask specific questions and wait for an answer

One of the largest hesitations I see from parents is fear of asking questions. The old saying of “there isn’t a stupid question” really does come into play here. Sometimes all it takes is asking for clarification. This can slow down a meeting so you don’t feel overwhelmed. To be kind to school staff, these phrases are their everyday language. It is easy for them to forget what an “outsider” doesn’t know.

Tips for Parents 3: Make sure you address your topic

In my early days advocating for children, schools got off topic as a way to say no to something. The parents started the meeting by asking for something specific. The person leading the meeting said they had to discuss other things first. By the time this was done, the meeting was over. The parent’s topic was not addressed.

In fairness to the school, the law does require a certain structure to these meetings. The law requires a lot of paperwork as well, especially for annual ARD/IEP meetings. The best way to make sure your topic is discussed is to give the school a general outline of your requests in advance. This way, you can remind the school officials to discuss your request during the meeting.

You can also let the school know you are willing to schedule an additional meeting if needed. Parents have the right to schedule additional meetings. Extensive supports may require a series of meetings to work everything out. The other trick I use is telling the school in advance you have a lot to discuss. The school may decide to schedule a longer time slot to accommodate your needs.

I also suggest using the pre-made list of requests as a checklist during the meeting. I often set my list on the table and visibly check off each item as we discuss it. The nicer school staff who see me doing this often use it as a cue to ask if there is anything on the list we haven’t covered yet.

Tips for Parents 4: Keep asking until you get a formal yes or no

Making the school say yes or no to a request creates a paper trail of your request. It also shows the school’s thinking. I have seen schools say yes to things because they didn’t want to go on record as declining them. There are some requests schools agree to but almost never implement successfully. Examples of these requests include emailing a parent with weekly progress updates about behavior or checking that the child filled in the planner at the end of class. Having this type of request on the IEP could protect the child later.

If your child with a disability is facing disciplinary removal from school of more than 10 school days, the school must hold a Manifest Determination Review (MDR). If you demonstrate the school did not follow the IEP, the child cannot be removed past 10 days. With the example of the weekly progress update, you could argue that with the requested information, you could have talked to your child’s doctor about changing medications or your child’s therapist about coping skills to help with the classroom situation. Without the information, you did not know to take these steps, leading to the repeated misbehavior.

Tips for Parents 5: Ask why not and what else could we do if the school says no

It is not rude to ask why a service is declined. Keep in mind schools are only required to provide adequate education, not optimal education. Another requirement schools have to consider is providing services in the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE). This means the child must be educated with same age/grade peers to the fullest extent possible. Sometimes schools deny a request because it does not meet LRE.

In most cases when a school denies a request, the best recourse for the parent is to ask the school for an alternative idea. It is helpful to get to the heart of the problem your child is having. Put it back on the school for what to do. Sometimes a school official comes up with a unique solution that is better than my original idea.

Another idea is to use the reason the school gave for denying a service to come up with a more convincing argument. For example, if your child is three grade levels behind in math and already is in the lowest regular education classroom, the school is not meeting the child’s needs. Many schools in Texas use inclusion so much they do not have provisions for students in this situation. In one case, I used the scores from prior testing to calculate the probable number of students who were in a similar situation as my patient. Based on this, the school started a Functional Academics classroom.

My patient started making progress in math that he had not seen before. I imagine this also helped many other students. Sometimes what you do for your own child helps other children as well.

Tips for Parents 6: Make sure the meeting ends by reading the deliberations

The deliberations are the official notes at the end of the IEP document. This section lists the discussion topics and agreements. If there are disagreements between the deliberations and other sections, the deliberations are considered the accurate version. While it is read, double check that everything on your list was mentioned. This is a great time to make any last-minute changes. In some cases, the school may recommend and make changes as well.

Tips for Parents 7: Expect to compromise

You will not get everything you ask for in an IEP/ARD or 504 meeting. This is not always a bad thing. Keep track of what things are most important to you. Consider what you most want to fight for and which items you are willing to drop or accept an alternative. For bigger requests, you may need to go through a process to get what you need. For example, if you think an alternative school is the best service for your child, you probably will have to go through a series of meetings. Over time you and the school will develop plans and show that the plans failed. You may need to do this to demonstrate that the alternative program is indeed the LRE to meet your child’s needs.

In rare cases, you may need more extreme measures to meet your child’s needs. You may need to go through the due process procedure outlined in the procedural safeguards. In other cases, you may have to file a formal complaint with the state education agency or the Office of Civil Rights.

Conclusion

Parents are the last line of defense when it comes to setting up appropriate services for their child in the school. Advocating for your child can seem daunting at first, but advocating effectively yields many benefits. This leads to my last piece of advice. Be willing to adapt as needed, but never give up. At a minimum, it demonstrates to the school and your child that you really do care about your child’s schooling. Being as nice as possible while doing so can help, but there is a lot of truth in the saying the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

If you would like assistance with the 504 or ARD/IEP process, please contact our office to discuss services we can provide to meet your needs.

Post written by Dr. Gordon D. Lamb, Licensed Psychologist and Clinical Director

Please note posts are educational in nature and are not intended to replace psychological services or legal advice.